King Arthur was a womanizer

A report in the “The Manchester Morning Mill Magazine,” reveals the truth behind the medieval monarch, King Arthur.

Esteemed historian Cutter Shiloh, has discovered the legendary King Arthur, fondly nicknamed Artie by his great grandmother Iola, was not just a valiant warrior but also a rampant womanizer of monumental proportions.

It appears that after his adrenaline-pumping sword fights, Artie grew as bored as a petrified parrot and sought refuge in raucous boinking sessions. Yes, dear readers, you heard it right. Our beloved Arthur indulged in not one, not two, but a staggering three or four amorous escapades per evening. The mind boggles at such indefatigable vigor!

Shiloh, with a mischievous glint in his eye, spills the beans on Art’s unbeatable sword fighting record of 173-0. However, even the mightiest have their moments of folly. Our gallant king came perilously close to tasting defeat at the hands of the dashing Sir Erasmus Turquoise of Tupelo on the Thames. Alas, it was not a formidable foe or an epic duel that brought Arthur to his knees, but a comely bit of crumpet that sent him into a sex-addled frenzy.

Behold the legacy of King Arthur, the extraordinary “Love ’em and Leave ’em” Swordsman, whose swordsmanship prowess was only surpassed by his legendary exploits in matters of the heart. As the pages of history unfold, we are left in awe of this larger-than-life figure, forever etched in the annals of cuddly chivalry.